Free Friday: Immaculate Grid, Live!

As you might know (and why should any of us know this?) Shohei Ohtani refused to tell the press his dog’s name before he signed. This led some to speculate that he had named the dog after the team he was planning to sign with.

Thursday, he put on his Dodgers’ uniform publicly for the first time, answered questions, and, yes, divulged the name of his dog.

Shohei Ohtani’s dog is named “Decoy.”

This proves, as if we didn’t already know, that while the rest of us are playing checkers, Shohei Ohtani is playing Chess960.

OK, as a little Friday special, I decided to try an experiment: Let’s play a round of Immaculate Grid together! As I assume most of you know, this little Rubrik game comes out daily, and you can play it over at Baseball-Reference. By the time I post this, the new one will have come out … so, no spoilers!

OK! We have the Royals today, so that will make things easier.

But let’s start with the top left side.

Square 1: Played for Cubs and Angels.

OK, immediately I think of John Lackey, right? Lackey was a star pitcher for the Angels throughout the 2000s, heck, he started Game 7 for them in the World Series against the Giants (and pitched solidly, five innings, one run). And then Lackey was the veteran presence brought in for the 2016 Cubs, who won the World Series. Lackey is clearly the top dog in this category.

The question is: Do we want to go with the top dog today, or do we want to try and go for a low rarity score? I go back and forth on this. Normally, I try to get through the Grid quickly, which means going with the first person that comes to mind. But every now and again, I do try for rarity. I especially try for rarity on Saturdays, when the categories are all feats rather than teams. So, for example, one category will be “Hall of Famer,” and the coordinating category will be “Struck out 2,000 batters” and I will try to think up the most obscure Hall of Famer to strike out 2,000 batters.

In this case, can I think of an obscure player who I know played for the Cubs and Angels? And, crazily, the answer is: Yes. Well, he’s not obscure, but few will remember he played for the Angels. I only remember it because I remember being 11 years old and thinking how cool it was that in 1978 he played for four teams — the Mets, Padres, Yankees and, yes, Angels. That was Dave Kingman.

So let’s go with Dave Kingman! Result: 2%. A few other people remembered that four-team year too!

Happy Friday! Our Friday posts are free so everyone can enjoy them. Just a reminder that Joe Blogs is a reader-supported newsletter, and I’d love and appreciate your support.

Square 2: Played for Cubs and Tigers

Hmm. Cubs and Tigers, Cubs and Tigers... Nobody immediately comes to mind. Did former Tigers first baseman Jason Thompson play for the Cubs? No, I don’t think he did. Hmm. Oh, wait, duh, obviously, Javy Báez is your top dog. I think the reason Báez didn’t immediately come to mind is that I forget he exists now, which is crazy since it hasn’t been all that long since Mike Schur and I declared him the funnest player in baseball.

Let me go look up Báez for a minute. Wow, he played in 136 games for the Tigers last year with a 62 OPS+? Seriously? That’s so utterly heartbreaking. And his fielding numbers suggest he isn’t quite the defensive dynamo that he once was — still above average, yes, but not legendary like he used to be. Damn. And he just turned 31, so the winds are not exactly behind him. Now, I’m sad.

All right, Báez is top dog, do I want to go deeper? Does anyone else come to and there’s a drive into leftfield by Castellanos, it will be a home run. Right. Nick Castellanos began with the Tigers, and then he had that crazy doubles year the year they traded him to the Cubs. One of my favorite-ever baseball days was being at Wrigley Field with Nick Offerman watching Castellanos crack two doubles against the Pirates. We gave him our own standing ovation.

So, for Nick, let’s go with Castellanos. And …. bullseye! We got 0%. First time I’ve ever seen that. Are we the only ones to choose Nick Castellanos or is it just not showing decimal-point percentages?

Square 3: Played at least one game at shortstop for Cubs.

Hmm. This is a new category — played at least one game for the Cubs at short? What do I do here? We can all name many Cubs shortstops, right? Ernie Banks has to be the top dog here, but, I mean, you have Bowa, Dunston, Kessinger, Castro, Alex Gonzalez, Ryan Theriot, Javy, obviously, Addison Russell (ugh), didn’t Neifi Perez play with the Cubs briefly?

Then I could try to guess some famous player from another position who might have played one game at short. Like Ryne Sandberg probably played at least one game at shortstop, no? Ron Santo probably played at least one game at short?

No, I’m not going to risk that. I’ll tell you who I’m going to go with: Rey Sanchez. Here’s why: Rey Sanchez might be the best defensive shortstop I’ve ever seen on a daily basis. This was when he was with the Royals, but he was so, so, so good. The numbers back up my memories, too. He led all shortstops in total zone runs both of those years. He led the league in defensive WAR in 2000 and finished second in 1999 to Baltimore’s Mike Bordick, an underrated defender, too.

The Gold Glove both those years went to Omar Vizquel, who was definitely a flashier fielder than Rey. But better? Not those years, not from my view, watching him every game. So, here’s to Rey Sanchez, I’m going to put him in now:

Hey, another 0%!

Square 4: Played for Royals and Angels.

Well, it’s not fair for me to play with the Royals — I know too much. Zack Greinke played for the Angels, so did Mark Gubicza and Kevin Appier and, I’m pretty sure, my old pal Al Fitzmorris and Darrell May and Paul Byrd, I think. Those are just pitchers who come to mind.

I think the top dog here will be Greinke or Gubicza — maybe Gubi since he has been the Angels announcer for so long.

But you know what? I might try Al. I’m not 100% sure he played for the Angels, but he’s a good friend and I’d like to use him in the Grid. Al Fitzmorris will tell you: By the time he was consistently winning games for the Royals, he had nothing — absolutely nothing. He would strike out something like 50 guys a year. But he kept the ball low and in the ballpark. He gave me one of my favorite pitching credos. We were talking about pitchers who froze up and were afraid to throw a pitch in a key situation, and I asked him: Why didn’t you ever freeze up, considering that, you know, you didn’t have great stuff?

We were watching batting practice at the time, and he said: “Look out there. This batting-practice pitcher is standing closer to the plate and he’s throwing nothing but middle-of-the-plate fastballs. And you see it. The hitter STILL doesn’t hit a home run on every pitch. He doesn’t hit 1.000. They still hit routine ground balls and pop-ups. That’s on batting-practice fastballs that they know are coming.”

He smiled and said: “People make pitching sound harder than it is.”

I love that so much. Here’s to Al Fitzmorris… hoping I’m remembering this right… YES!! Al did play for the Angels. I thought he did. And that’s, obviously, 0%.

Square 5: Played for Royals and Tigers.

Hmm. Royals and Tigers. Why does Dan Petry pop into my head? Did Dan Petry play for the Royals? I don’t think he did. Get out of my head, Dan Petry.

Ah, but do you know who from that 1984 Tigers team DID play for the Royals? Kirk Gibson. Yep, the Royals signed him back in 1991, that year when they were trying to win one more World Series for beloved owner Ewing Kauffman. They signed Gibson and they acquired the two Davises, Storm and Mark, and they really thought that with the great pitching they already had in Bret Saberhagen and Gubi and Appier, they would contend for the World Series. They did not.

Does another Royals-Tigers player come to mind? Not really. There are tricks in Immaculate Grid where you take a player like Matt Stairs or Octavio Dotel, who played for a million teams. I know both of them played for the Royals, they probably played for the Tigers, too. But I’m going to go with Gibson, even guessing it won’t register a 0%.

Well, hey, it DID register a 0%. Nice. Like I say, it’s not fair for me to play with the Royals.

Hey, if you feel like it, I’d love if you’d share this post with your friends!

Square 6: Played at least one game at shortstop for Royals.

OK, this is obviously too easy for me. I wonder if George Brett played a game at shortstop? I’ll bet he did. I’ll bet Frank White did, too. I’m not going to put Brett down, because I imagine a lot of people might guess him — especially with the new Baseball Network documentary out (and I’m in it!) — but what about Frank White? Would a lot of people guess him? I don’t think so.

Or do I go with a Royals classic shortstop like Neifi Perez?

No, wait, I know who I’m picking. He’s obscure, but really devout Royals fans will remember him: David Howard! So, David Howard played for the Royals in the mid-1990s and he couldn’t hit at all. Like not even a little bit. But he was something of a legend inside the clubhouse because — and I swear this is true — everybody said he was easily the best athlete on the team. They said he was the best golfer on the team, the best tennis player on the team, the best basketball player on the team, the fastest runner, could play every position, could pitch… it was no joke, everybody was kind of in awe of the guy.

This for a guy who, I remember, couldn’t hit at all.

I always wished that the Royals would have let David Howard do the Bert Campaneris thing of playing all nine positions; I’m pretty sure he did play all nine positions over his career, anyway.* So let’s go with David Howard!

Survey says: 0%!!

*I just looked it up: Howard DID NOT play all nine positions over his career. He never caught. I’m sure he could have. He was a DH in 10 games, which is, well, pretty impressive for a guy who hit .229/.291/.303 over his career. He pitched two innings in 1994 against the Red Sox in a 22-11 game. He walked five guys but only gave up one run.

Square 7: Caught at least one game for the Angels

I’m not in love with this “played one game at a position: category; Brings too much luck into it. Am I supposed to guess if, like, Tim Salmon caught one game?

All right, my strategy will be going with the most obscure Angels catcher who comes to mind. I’m going to guess Bob Boone will be top dog. Hmm. Well, Brian Downing is an interesting choice; I wonder how many people will remember that Downing started his career as a catcher. Probably more than a few.

Obscure Angels catcher. OK. Let me think. I’ll tell you who keeps coming to mind: Butch Wynegar. I’m seeing visions of a Butch Wynegar baseball card with the Angels. But am I remembering that right? Maybe a 1988 Topps card, Wynegar standing there with the bat on his shoulder? I think the reason I remember that is that I couldn’t believe Butch Wynegar was still playing in 1988.

OK, I can’t think of anyone else. Fingers crossed — did Butch Wynegar play for the Angels?

He did! And it’s another 0%!

Square 8: Caught at least one game for the Tigers.

The Tigers have two great catchers — Bill Freehan and Lance Parrish — who have decent Hall of Fame arguments. I would guess one of them will be top dog. Pudge Rodriguez played with the Tigers for a while, right? Oooh, what about Matt Nokes? Is Matt Nokes obscure enough to get me another 0%? At this point, I have to be all-in on rarity score, since I’m two away from a pretty monster day.

Is Matt Nokes obscure enough? Oh, wait, wait, what was that guy’s name who came up with those terrible Tigers teams in the early 2000s, maybe, and he was a catcher, but he couldn’t throw out anybody, so they moved him to another position. Oh man, what was that cat’s name? I remember the Royals stealing a bunch of bases against him. Oh man.

I got it. Fick. That was his name. Robert Fick.

Let’s go with Robert Fick and … 0%!

Square 9: Played shortstop at least one game and caught at least one game.

All right, here’s the payoff. I’m glad I already used David Howard, because I definitely would have guessed him here. I could go with Campy here, since we know he played both positions in one game, but that will surely be a popular answer.

OK, who else? We know Craig Biggio played catcher; I’ll bet he played a game at short, maybe? But that’s risky. Who do I remember being an emergency catcher? Oooh, just thought of one: How about Lenn Sakata? In case I haven’t mentioned it, I wrote a book called Why We Love Baseball and I tell the story of when Tippy Martinez picked off three Blue Jays in the same inning … mainly because utility infielder Lenn Sakata was behind the plate.

But how many Immaculate Grid people have read Why We Love Baseball and will go with Sakata?

Hey, it’s time to go. I’m going with Sakata and hoping for the 0% … GOT IT!

OK, my rarity score was 22, so … that’s pretty good, but it also means those 0% were not right. The game must revert to 0% for every choice after a new game is published. Ah, well. I’ll be Castellanos and Gibson were reasonably popular choices. Still, feeling pretty good about this one.

JoeBlogs Week in Review

Monday: Ohtani Broke the Bank, So Let's Break It All Down.

Tuesday: Browns Diary, Week 14: Reversal of Fortune.

Wednesday: A Potpourri of Nonsense.