A Sack, a Sacking, and Finding Joy
Myles gets the record, the Browns fire Our Guy Stefanski, and a field goal poll.
Browns 20, Bengals 18
— The final record: 5-12
— The big takeaway: Myles gets the sack record, KevStef gets a parting gift.
Well, as expected, the Browns fired Kevin Stefanski this morning. We’ll talk about our guy Stefanski in a minute. First, though, I should say as a fan — since putting voice to what it means to be a fan is the whole point of this ridiculous Browns Diary — that Myles Garrett getting his 23rd sack of the season, breaking the sack record, was the happiest Browns moment I’ve had in years. I actually yelled out, “Yes!” when it happened.
“That’s the first time I can remember you yelling out something during a Browns game,” my wife Margo said.
Yeah. It’s been a long time.
Myles Garrett is amazing. It is my nature — and the nature of lots of sports fans* — to paint in broad strokes and refer to this player or that as the greatest at something or other. Steph Curry is the greatest shooter ever. Novak Djokovic is the greatest tennis player ever. Bill Glass, who plays Dr. Rick in those “turning into your parents” ads, is the greatest commercial actor ever. Simone Biles is the greatest gymnast ever. Myles Garrett is the greatest pass rusher ever. And so on.
*Thankfully! How else would I make a living?
And if you are this type of fan, right now your “greatest ever” synapses are buzzing and you are looking for that comment button so you can scream “ABSOLUTELY NOT, LARRY BIRD IS STILL THE GREATEST SHOOTER EVER, AND ROGER FEDERER IS THE GREATEST TENNIS PLAYER EVER, AND DEAN WINTERS (OR MAYBE STEPHANIE COURTNEY) IS THE GREATEST COMMERCIAL ACTOR EVER, AND NOBODY WILL EVER TOP NADIA COMANECI AS A GYMNAST, AND MAYBE YOU HAVE HEARD OF A GUY NAMED LAWRENCE TAYLOR, AND ARE YOU AN INSANE PERSON?”
So here’s what I want to say about Garrett instead: The last two weeks, the Pittsburgh Steelers and Cincinnati Bengals decided, consciously and subconsiously, that they would rather LOSE THE GAME than allow Garrett to get the record-breaking sack. It was an astonishing thing to see. They each basically eliminated dropback passes from their offensive game plan; they ran the ball and punted rather than risking sacks; they dumped off short passes hoped that they might win even if they didn’t score much.
It was a shocking strategy for both teams for different reasons. For the Steelers, it was shocking because they needed to win the game. Losing put them in the position of needing to beat Baltimore Sunday night just to make the playoffs, which they did only when a rookie kicker missed a 44-yard field goal at the end.
As for the Bengals, I mean, they have probably the best receiving tandem in the NFL in Ja’Marr Chase and Tee Higgins, and they have one of the most accurate downfield passers we’ve ever seen in Joe Burrow, so watching them dump the ball off most of the game and run the ball a bunch didn’t seem an especially effective plan.
But it did have the intended effect: It seemed like they would prevent Garrett from getting the big sack. It was quite the shift from Michael Strahan’s record-breaking sack, which, you might remember, was Brett Favre simply giving himself up.
Then, with just 5:19 left in the game — and the Browns leading — the Bengals basically had no choice. Burrow dropped back and Garrett did his magical thing. He perfectly anticipated the snap — no defensive lineman in the NFL gets called for more offsides penalties than Garrett because he’s always playing right on that edge — and was around the Bengals’ left tackle, Orlando Brown Jr., instantly. It was, as Mina Kimes wrote, like he was on “fast forward.”
This is the magic trick we have been fortunate to watch for the last few years as Browns fans. We haven’t had much joy, but seeing Garrett just disappear at the line and reappear at the quarterback time and time again has been truly wonderful. The thing about being a fan, especially of a spectacularly bad team like the Browns, is that you must find your happiness wherever you can. For years, I would get it by watching Joe Thomas playing brilliantly at left tackle, even as the team changed quarterbacks and coordinators daily and lost in the most spectacularly grotesque ways.
Now, it’s about watching Myles Garrett perform weekly miracles.
I’m so glad he got the record. It made the season for me.
My (new) favorite NFL television quirk
Every year, I pick out a little NFL television quirk that brings me an uncomfortable amount of joy. For a while, it was the fact that whenever a quarterback stepped to the line, looked around, and called a timeout, the announcer was (legally?) obligated to say: “He didn’t like what he saw.”
I used to like how cameras — they don’t do this anymore, alas — would focus on the 2:00 on the clock when the two-minute warning happened.
I like how the camera guys always find the two people in the crowd with that combined “D-Fence” sign — one holding a giant “D” and the other holding a little fence.*
*This is not something I “like” or “dislike,” but I am convinced, absolutely convinced, that field goal kickers miss more often when the camera angle is from behind them than when the camera angle is from behind the goalpost. Is this something I believe alone?
Here’s my new favorite quirk — though I should say it’s not exactly new, I think television producers have been doing it for years, but I’ve really noticed it lately: I love when someone commits a turnover and then, if the other team scores, the cameras find and focus on the guy who committed the turnover. It seems so unnecessarily cruel, as if to say: “Hey, in case you forgot, THIS IS THE GUY who turned the ball over to lead to this score.”
The Last Kevin Stefanski Press Conference
I’ve noticed a new looseness with Kevin Stefanski over the last few weeks. I mean, no, he still isn’t saying anything of note, he’s still the master of meaningless cliches, but he’s been saying them with a little bit more gusto as of late.
I’m convinced that this is because he has known for some time that he would get fired.
Monday morning, he did get fired. Interestingly, the Browns did not fire general manager Andrew Berry, probably because the Browns had what has become a celebrated 2025 draft class, featuring likely defensive rookie of the year Carson Schwesinger, the Browns’ leading rusher Quinson Judkins, the Browns’ leading pass-catcher Harold Fannin, and the Browns’ top two passers, Shedeur Sanders and Dillon Gabriel.
I do not want to downplay this rookie class because I’m hopeful about it … but I’m also skeptical. The Browns were so shorthanded in 2025 that they had no choice but to play rookies everywhere. When you play a bunch of rookies, then the rookies put up numbers. Judkins averaged just 3.6 yards per carry. Fannin looked promising, but hey, SOMEBODY had to lead this team in receptions. I don’t think either of the rookie quarterbacks is a viable NFL starter. We’ll see how many of these rookies actually become impact players as the years go on.
But what makes me more skeptical about Berry is that the REASON the Browns were so shorthanded in 2025 is that they made the worst trade in NFL history, giving up everything, including their souls, to get He Who Shall Not Be Named to play quarterback. Last I checked, it was Berry who made that trade. Giving Berry too much credit for what might be a good rookie class in 2025 is like giving a medal to someone who puts out part of the fire that he set in the first place.
“Oh, I see,” Rip Torn says in Defending Your Life. “You’re not a hero if you save your own life.”
“A hero?” Lee Grant replies. “No. You’re not. No.”
But the Browns want to treat Berry as a hero, so he stays.
Stefanski does not, and I think in the end it probably comes as a relief. Being the coach of the Cleveland Browns — particularly under this mess of an ownership group — must be so frustrating, exhausting, and soul-sucking. On the bright side, if you can ever take this team to the playoffs, they’ll definitely give you NFL Coach of the Year — Stefanski won the award both times he took the team to the playoffs.
On the dark side of being a Browns coach is, yeah, everything else.
Stefanski tried to meet the Browns’ dysfunction with bland professionalism, and being boring and colorless took him pretty far. He avoided saying or doing anything controversial. He never passed any blame — he must have told us 500 times that he needed to coach better. He called reporters by their first names to the very end.
“You can’t write a better script,” he said on Sunday after the Browns beat the Bengals 20-18 on a last-second field goal. Then he looked over at longtime Browns reporter Tony Grossi and said, “Not even you, Tony.”
And he lasted six years, something the previous 13 Browns coaches could not achieve.
What did those six years take out of him? We’ll probably never know because Stefanski’s greatest strength is keeping his feelings buried. I know it will never happen, but I’d love to have an off-the-record beer with the guy someday.
I imagine someone will hire Stefanski pretty quickly — I just heard from a Giants fan and Brilliant Reader who asks, “What do you think of Stefanski in a (slightly) less dysfunctional organization with a promising young quarterback?” And the answer is, I think he’d have a real chance of success. I don’t think it’s guaranteed, obviously. He’d have to make some adjustments. I think he’d probably have to rethink how he deals with the public-facing part of the job (especially in New York) and loosen up just a little on the cliches. I think he’d probably want to hire an offensive coordinator he’s sympatico with and let them call the plays. But the instincts are there, I believe, and the football savvy is there. I think he’d be a really good hire for the Giants.
As for the Browns, I guess the most obvious thing for them to do is make defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz the head coach. I’m not a huge fan of that idea; Schwartz turns 60 this year, he wasn’t all that great when he was the Lions’ head coach more than a decade ago, etc.
I’d love to see them keep Schwartz as defensive coordinator and hire an interesting offensive-minded guy like Seattle’s Klint Kubiak. But I don’t know if that would work. I don’t know if a head coach would want to come into a situation where the defensive coordinator was part of the deal.
The truth is that this move could really backfire; Stefanski might go on to success elsewhere, and the Browns might hire another Hue Jackson or Mike Pettine. That doesn’t mean that the Browns made the wrong move letting Stefanski go; I think time just ran out on that marriage. It’s more that I don’t trust the Browns to do the winning thing.
Thirty-five days until pitchers and catchers report, and here’s your daily splash of joy — Why You Love Baseball:
Brilliant Reader Cody: “I stumbled across a box of old memorabilia my dad held onto. Check out the pennant he picked up from the 1966 All-Star Game at Busch II. How many Hall of Famers can you count?
Joe: Let’s see — from left to right, I count Clemente, Mays, Torre, Aparicio, Cepeda, Aaron, Mantle, Killebrew, Santo, Brooksie, Oliva, Yaz, Perry, Gibson, Marichal, Koufax, Bunning, Morgan, Kaat, McCovey, Stargell, Robbie, Kaline, Dick Allen and Walter Alston as manager. So … that’s 25? Not bad. Not bad at all.
If you want to email why you love baseball — photos, drawings, poems, and all else welcome — here’s the address.
I can never understand why Miles Garrett never bolted for a better team. The Haslams are horrible, cheap owners, who will never have a shot at the SB due to their penny pinching. I applaud his talent and grace, but I feel he could have had a better chance for the trophy somewhere else.