I just wanted to share with you the sort of absurd and waste-of-time nonsense that Brandon McCarthy, Mike Schur and I text on our thread. I haven’t asked for their permission but it’s probably OK, they’ll probably never see this.
Xander Schauffele is launching his own app.
The app will provide “exclusive updates, premium gear, and championship-level perks.”
— Golf Digest (@GolfDigest)
4:07 PM • Apr 22, 2025
Brandon: Hey guys Xander Shauffele is launching his own app. It’s our chance to get exclusive updates, premium gear and championship-level perks from Xander Shauffele. This finally fills the “how do we get more of Xander Shauffele?” hole in the market-place that we’ve talked so much about.
Me: Well look, I’m glad to see it. All those knockoff Xander Shauffele apps have been taken money right out of his pocket, and it’s just not right.
Brandon: RIght. But now we can get our hands on the premium gear. That’s really the only gear that’s worth having.
Me: Here’s my question though: What level perks will we be getting? Like, are we talking about first-round playoff level perks, because that might not be worth my time.
Brandon: Joe see that’s the best part! They are championship-level perks. Those are perks so good that I can’t guess what they could even be.
Me: Whoa! Championship-level perks? I’m in. I hope this thing won’t just give me regular old updates, though.
Brandon: I thought the same but the access to exclusive updates is what really sold me. We will be the first in the know about anything to do with Xander Shauffele.
Mike: Judge is hitting .411.
Joe’s Notebook is filled with web-only riffs. They will pop up whenever.
Reply