The World Series is Here!

Here’s something I love: Corny announcer puns for “Keys to the game.” I can’t remember many right now — I’m sure you can think of some — but I do recall that Phil Simms called his keys to the game “Phil-osophy,” and it made me so happy.

I want my own pun for this World Series preview, but honestly, I can’t think of a great one. Pos-sibilities? Blogged and Loaded? Joe-mentum? Joe-ology 101?

We’ll keep working on it.

Sport previews — like those television “keys to the game” — are profoundly silly because they have to be. We don’t actually preview anything … because we can’t. A preview, by definition, is an inspection or viewing of something before it comes out. A movie preview, for instance, is a minute or two of an actual movie, and it is made by people who, you know, MADE THAT ACTUAL MOVIE. We sports previewers don’t have any idea what’s coming.

It’s daunting to think of the billions and billions of words that have been written in sports previews that were ridiculous, wrong, or pointless. Sports wouldn’t be much fun if you could really preview what happens.

So instead, I’m focusing this Joe-ology 101 preview — it doesn’t work, does it? — on a few thoughts about how we got here — featuring just a few players from places all around the world. It undoubtedly won’t preview anything. But maybe it will make the games a little more fun to watch.

The Dodgers’ starting pitcher, Blake Snell, grew up in Seattle and learned baseball in the training facility owned by his father, who was a relief pitcher in the Royals’ and Mariners’ minor league systems for a few years.

The Blue Jays first baseman, Vladimir Guerrero Jr., was born in Canada, grew up in the Dominican Republic, he’s the son of one of the greatest and most joyful hitters in the game’s history* and he has become one of the greatest and most joyful hitters in the game. He’s been legendary in these playoffs.

All eyes will obviously be on Dodgers designated hitter and pitcher, Shohei Ohtani, who makes his case every day as the greatest baseball player who ever lived. He is coming off a game where he threw six impossibly dominant innings and mashed three titanic home runs. Shohei grew up in the Northeast part of Japan, where he was an excellent swimmer and, in the seventh grade, he once played a six-inning game where he personally recorded 17 of the 18 outs.

The Blue Jays’ brilliant defensive infielder Andrés Giménez, who inconceivably blasted two gigantic home runs in the American League Championship Series against Seattle, was the smallest, thinnest kid on every field when he grew up in Barquisimeto, Venezuela. There was a grace to his game, though, a certain beauty that reminded of the great Venezuela shortstops of the past — Aparicio, Concepcion, Vizquel.

Markus Lynn Betts — who apparently was nicknamed Mookie because his parents happened to be watching Mookie Blaylock play* not long after he was born — grew up in Nashville, where he excelled at every sport, including, of course, bowling. He was named the Tennessee Boys Bowler of the Year back in 2010.

Toronto has not one but TWO key pitchers who went to East Carolina University in Greenville, North Carolina. A few other people who went to East Carolina — Vince McMahon, Mr. Beast, and, weirdly, Sandra Bullock. One of these is not like the others.

One of the East Carolina pitchers is Blue Jays’ closer, Jeff Hoffman, who had a bit of a rough season, but became absolutely electric in the ALCS against the Mariners.

The other, well, we have to go deeper into the story of Trey Yesavage.

In May of 2024, during the East Carolina college baseball season, Trey Yesavage suddenly found himself struggling to breathe. It turned out to be a partially collapsed lung, and he was in the hospital for a little while. He came to pitch on June 1 against Wake Forest — this just days before the draft — and he threw 7⅓ innings of one-hit ball and beat the top pitching prospect in America, Chase Burns.

Two weeks later, the Toronto Blue Jays took him with the 20th overall pick.

In April, they sent him to pitch in Dunedin, Florida. He was so absurdly dominant there that within five weeks, they sent him to a higher-level team in Vancouver. He lasted only four games there after striking out two per inning, and the Blue Jays sent him to Manchester, New Hampshire. During that time, he was selected to pitch in the MLB Futures Game — he faced one batter, Cardinals megaprospect JJ Wetherholt, and struck him out on a cutter that rocked Wetherholt’s world.

Not long after that, the Blue Jays sent him up to Buffalo, and he was so good there that the Blue Jays just decided, fine, just come to Toronto and pitch. This was when the Blue Jays were battling for a playoff spot. Reporters asked Yesavage if he was feeling the pressure.

“There are five-year-olds who play this game,” Yesavage said. “I think that me, at 22 years old, I can do it just fine.”

Yeah, this kid was clearly different.

And now he’s starting Game 1 of the World Series.

I mean, come on. This is why we love baseball.

Dodgers’ right fielder Teoscar Hernández grew up in the Dominican Republic, and after he signed with the Astros at 18, the thought was that he might develop into a speedy, defense-first centerfielder. Scouts marveled at his arm and his athletic grace. Then, like so many prospects, he hit a wall, stopped hitting, and the Astros traded him away to Toronto. There in Canada, after numerous ups and downs, he found his true calling as a bopper. The Dodgers signed him a couple of years ago, and now Teo exudes danger every time he steps to the plate.

Toronto’s delightfully shaped catcher Alejandro Kirk grew up in Tijuana, Mexico. His brother, Juan Manuel, was a fine catcher in the Mexican League, and Alejandro wanted to be just like his older brother. I’ve always loved Kirk because basically he’s me-sized — or I’m Alejandro-Kirk-sized — and so when I watch him play, I think about what might have been. Kirk went on a crazy little home run spree right at the end of the season and at the start of the postseason — five homers in three games — and it was wonderful.

Dodgers centerfielder Andy Pages is from Havana — he defected when he was 17 years old. When I see his last name, in my mind, I can’t help but think of it as Pages rhymes with Wages. It is more like Pages rhymes with Ma Fez. And Ma Fez would be an excellent name for a band.

Freddie Freeman grew up in California, but he comes from good Canadian stock — his father is from Windsor and his mother, who died when Freddie was 10, was from Peterborough. I think there’s something quintessentially Canadian about Freddie because I tend to think of Canadians as very nice and friendly folk. I know that’s a cliché, and it’s certainly not true for all Canadians. But in my experience, Canada hits for a very high percentage.

Bo Bichette is the son of former home run and RBI champ Dante Bichette … and the best Dante in the history of baseball. Funny thing is, Dante was not his first name — he is actually Alphonse Dante Bichette. But he’d be the best Alphonse in the history of baseball, too. Bo Bichette, meanwhile, is technically the best Bo in baseball history, at least by WAR, but he hasn’t come close to reaching the icon level of Bo Jackson. Maybe he will in this World Series. He’s going to try to play after a knee injury knocked him out for a while.

Clayton Kershaw grew up in Texas*, where he idolized Will Clark. He wanted to be a hitter just like Will the Thrill, but he was destined for a different path. He was one of the greatest pitchers in baseball history, and this is his last go-around. I don’t know if he’ll actually pitch in this World Series, but I suspect he will, you know, for the feels.