198 Comments
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Brian Klaff's avatar

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer would be my long-titled song.

Tom J's avatar

Joe's real superpower? Using his writing skills to bring forward people like Buck O'Neill who remind me (maybe even remind us) what Joe said above: "There are more good people than bad, many more helpers than hurters." I hope I can remember to help spread that message in everything I do.

Jim G's avatar

If I Had a Million Dollars by Barenaked Ladies seems like a fitting song for this entry.

Georg Csarmann's avatar

“Bart, with ten thousand dollars we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like....love.” - Homer Simpson

But seriously, if I had a billion dollars, I would fund as many low-budget films from exciting up-and-coming filmmakers as possible.

Jesse's avatar

I would tax the rest of the other billionaires out of existence

Jason David's avatar

“You can’t get what you want (til you know what you want)” Joe Jackson!

Spils's avatar

If I had billions of dollars: I’d make Opening Day a national holiday. Where should I Venmo my money?

Llarry's avatar

"Forse le lucciole non si amano piu" by Locanda della Fate -- '70s Italian prog rock. Band name translates roughly as "Inn of the Fates". Song (and album) title translates as "Maybe the fireflies don't love each other any more". Oh, and it's only 9:49 long!

Scott Worsham's avatar

Not sure of the cost, but I would try hard to figure out how to absolve every medical debt in the country. If any funds were left over, I'd tackle student loan terms. Ridiculous how much we charge people to live and better themselves -- thereby becoming better contributors to society and the economy, no? If I'm worth trillions, it's housing and food.

Adam J. Rosenbaum's avatar

Oh, and a great long song: “It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)”

(maybe it was mentioned before, but I put it down just in case)

Adam J. Rosenbaum's avatar

I’d pay for the naming rights for all 30 MLB stadiums and have the fans vote on new names for the parks

Andy Chapman's avatar

I would buy the Yankees and return them to their former glory as the most hated team in sports and the most successful (which is the same thing).

Andy Chapman's avatar

“He’s not heavy, he’s my brother”

John Dick's avatar

For fans of British rock, I remember "Oh Baby Won't You Come Back Home to Croydon; Where Everybody Beedle an' Bo's" by Brian Auger and the Trinity with Julie Driscoll.

Doug's avatar

"Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict"

-Pink Floyd, 1969

Top that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYfxdFZkM5Y

JVT's avatar

Food and shelter for those that can’t afford those things