The legendary Lee Elia died on Thursday. He was 87.
THE LEE ELIA RANT (APRIL 29, 1983) The biggest Cubs fan I know is a guy named Steve Hirschtick. He lives in a small village somewhere in Thailand—he doesn’t like giving out the exact location because he doesn’t want people to bother him—and a few years ago, he built his own Wrigley Field.
Steve’s Wrigley Field is a sight to behold; it was built by local villagers who had absolutely no idea what they were building. They thought it was a religious structure of some kind. For Steve, it is exactly that.
One of the features of Steve’s Wrigley Field is a plaque with the entire Lee Elia rant from 1983.
The Cubs got off to a terrible start in 1983, not unlike most every other year. On a Friday afternoon, in front of 9,391 fans, they blew a lead and lost to the Dodgers. And when it was time to talk to reporters after the game, manager Lee Elia knew just who to blame: Cubs fans.
“All these so-called Cubs fans,” Elia began. “I’ll tell you one quacking thing. I hope we get quacking hotter than quack just to stuff it up them 3,000 quacking people that show up every quacking day. Because if they’re the real Chicago quacking fans, they can kiss my quacking quack right downtown . . . and PRINT IT!
“They’re really, really behind you around here . . . my quacking quack! What the quack am I supposed to do, go out there and let my quacking players get destroyed every day and be quiet about it for the quacking nickel, dime people that show up. The quacking quackers don’t even work. That’s why they’re out at the quacking game. They ought to go out and get a quacking job and find out what it’s like to go out and earn a quacking living.”
And then, the big finish:
“Eighty-five percent of the quacking world is working. The other fifteen come out here. A quacking playground for the quack quackers.”
Elia, remarkably, managed the Cubs for another three months. When he finally got fired in August, he explained himself like so: “My biggest problem is that I might have wanted to win too badly.”
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