Welcome to The Batting Order — a lineup of thoughts, notes, tangents, and nonsense from baseball, sports, pop culture, and wherever else my distracted brain decides to roam.

Penguins on the PosCast

The Magic Numbers of Sports

Ovi’s record inspired my friend Dan to look at every sport and try to find a number — a round number, if possible, but at least an accessible number — that gets close to the heart of greatness. He was inspired to do this when he noticed that eight players have scored 700 goals in the National Hockey League:

700 Goals in the NHL

1. Ovechkin, 895

2. Gretzy, 894

3. Gordie Howe, 801

4. Jaromir Jágr, 766

5. Brett Hull, 741

6. Marcel Dionne, 731

7. Phil Esposito, 717

8. Mike Gartner, 708

Something about that list is so satisfying. These aren’t, of course, the eight greatest hockey players ever — the next three on the goal-scoring list, Mark Messier, Steve Yzerman and Mario Lemieux would all be Great Eight super-contenders, as would a bunch of others without huge goal totals like Bobby Orr and Patrick Roy — but there’s a wonderful purity to a list like this. These are the greatest goal-scorers of all time. You see a list like this, and the imagination begins to whir.

So, together, Dan and I searched for magic numbers. Our rule is that fewer than 10 players qualify to be on the list. Here’s what he came up with:

30,000 Points in the NBA

There are nine players in pro basketball history who have scored 30,000 points. They are, in order:

1. LeBron, 42,115

2. Kareem, 38,387

3. Karl Malone, 36,928

4. Kobe Bryant, 33,643

5. Michael Jordan, 32,292

6. Dirk Nowitzki, 31,560

7. Wilt Chamberlain, 31,319

8. Kevin Durant, 30,471

9. Julius Erving, 30,026

That list tells so many stories, doesn’t it? Dr. J barely makes the list — you have to count his 11,000-plus points in the ABA to include him. But we WILL count those points. Chamberlain is the only person of his time anywhere near this list — when he retired in 1973, he was 6,000 points clear of anybody else.

Would Jordan have beaten LeBron to the punch and broken Kareem’s scoring record had he not gone chasing baseballs in the prime of his career? There’s a decent chance — he probably left 5,000 points on the table by trying to make it to the Major Leagues. Then again, if he had played those two years, he might not have come back for the unsatisfying Washington seasons in his late 30s (when he added more than 3,000 points to his career total). It’s tricky trying to rewrite history.

2,000 Runs Scored in MLB

We thought about other baseball stats, of course — homers, wins, strikeouts, hits, WAR, stolen bases, and so on — but none of them quite fit the kind of wide-scoping, brain-teasing list we are going for with this. Runs works perfectly. Look at this Great Eight:

1. Rickey Henderson, 2,295

2. Ty Cobb, 2,245

3. Barry Bonds, 2,227

4. Henry Aaron AND Babe Ruth, 2,174

6. Pete Rose, 2,165

7. Willie Mays, 2068

8. Alex Rodriguez, 2021

Having Aaron and Ruth tied with exactly 2,174 runs is one of baseball’s most joyfully poetic number coincidences. Even beyond that, this list just sings, doesn’t it? You’ve got Rickey talking about Rickey at the top, Cobb and all his fury at No. 2, Rose and all that comes with him at No. 6, Say Hey at No. 7, A-Rod as always shoving himself into the picture at No. 8, I mean, this is the heart of baseball history here.

260 Starts in the NFL

We looked at some of the more famous stats — 400 touchdown passes (8 players), 60,000 passing yards (9 players), 13,000 rushing yards (9 players) — but none felt right. The quarterback numbers are dominated by players from this century. Only Dan Marino from the 1900s is in the 60,000-yard passing club. No Joe Montana. No John Unitas. No Dan Fouts. But Matt Ryan is on that list and Matt Stafford will join the club this year. It just doesn’t work. For a while, I thought there’s just no way to put together a compelling football list that takes in the entirety of the game’s history.

Then, I looked at players with 260 starts. No, 260 is not the roundest of numbers, but the list is awfully good:

1. Tom Brady, 333

2. Brett Favre, 298

3. Bruce Matthews, 293

4. Drew Brees, 286

5. Jerry Rice, 284

6. Jim Marshall, 277

7. Bruce Smith, 267

8. Peyton Manning, 265

9. Larry Fitzgerald, 261

OK, I’m going to pause here for a bonus little JoeBlogs tirade: Did you know that Jim Marshall is not in the Pro Football Hall of Fame? This is utterly astonishing to me. I’ve been aware of this, of course — some years ago, I spent a couple of hours with Marshall talking football and wrote how absurd his Hall of Fame absence was — but now that I look at it more closely I believe that Jim Marshall is, far and away, the biggest snub in any sports Hall of Fame.

First, we need to ask: Why isn’t Marshall in the Hall? I think the answer is that he was not particularly celebrated or recognized as a player. He only made two Pro Bowls. He was never named first-team All-Pro. He was overshadowed throughout his career by players like Gino Marchetti, Willie Davis, Deacon Jones, Doug Atkins and particularly his teammates Carl Eller and Alan Page.

And all that’s well and good, but let me tell you something about Jim Marshall: He started EVERY SINGLE GAME for the Minnesota Vikings from 1961 to 1979. Every one. That alone should make him a Hall of Famer.

But it’s much more than that. He didn’t just start 270 games in a row — a defensive record that will never be broken — he started those games for Minnesota’s legendary PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS defense, who were top three in fewest points allowed in 1969, 1970, 1971, 1973, 1974, 1975, and 1976. How in the world is the defensive end who started in every single one of those games not a Hall of Famer? Were the other 10 players just making up for him?

And it’s not like he lacks the numbers. He had 131 unofficial sacks in his career — more than Von Miller. Derrick Thomas and even Dwight Freeney, who was just elected to the Hall of Fame in 2024, based almost entirely on his sacks. Or how about this: He STILL holds the NFL record for most fumbles recovered in a career with 30.*

*Actually, the NFL record for most recovered fumbles is held by Hall of Famer Warren Moon with an astonishing 56, but recovering your own fumble doesn’t count.

PLUS, he has one of the greatest lines in sports history. After his famous wrong-way run after he recovered one of those fumbles, he told reporters that his teammates asked him to fly the plane back to Minneapolis.

“That way,” he said, “we’d up in Hawaii instead of Minnesotal.”

No, I didn’t intend to go all-in on Jim Marshall today, but remembering that he’s not in the Hall of Fame has really set me off. It’s a disgrace. Jim turns 88 in December, and I am making it a JoeBlogs mission to get him elected before we lose him. Don’t be surprised for the next few months when Jim Marshall just starts randomly appearing in posts.

8 Men’s Majors in Men’s Golf

It was tough to cut this off at eight because five all-time greats, including Arnold Palmer, won exactly seven major championships. Trouble is, if we go down to seven, the list of golfers jumps over 10, breaking our only rule.

So we have to cut it off at 8.

1. Jack Nicklaus, 18

2. Tiger Woods, 15

3. Walter Hagen, 11

4. Ben Hogan, 9

5. Gary Player, 9

6. Tom Watson, 8

The golfers with seven include Harry Vardon, Bobby Jones, Gene Sarazen, Sam Snead, and, yes, Arnie. It stinks leaving those five off.

I think it’s pretty clear now that nobody — at least in my lifetime — will catch Jack Nicklaus on the major list. Tiger gave it one helluva run. When he won that incredible 14th major at the 2008 U.S. Open — at age 32 and badly injured — the overwhelming feeling was that he would not only break Nicklaus’ record but soar past it. But I didn’t think so. To break the record, he still had to win FIVE MORE MAJORS. Rory McIlroy hasn’t won five majors in his whole career. Ernie Els didn’t. Raymond Floyd didn’t. Nick Price, Payne Stewart, Hale Irwin, Jordan Spieth, none of these guys won five majors.

The thing about golf is that it is relentless and unforgiving — there are no umpires to give you a couple of extra strike zone inches, no referees to grant you free throws for ticky-tack fouls, no rule changes to protect you in the pocket. Nothing from your past guides your future. You just have to get the ball in the hole in fewer shots than everyone else — and everyone else keeps getting younger. I wouldn’t have predicted that he would only win one more major after 2008. But I would have thought that more likely than him actually breaking the record.

That said, I still think Tiger Woods is the best golfer who has ever lived. Tiger and Jack define my separation of “GOAT” and “Best Ever.” Jack is the GOAT, his career is untouchable, his 18 major championships tell only half the story; he finished second NINETEEN times.

But nobody, not even the Golden Bear, played golf better than Tiger.

By the way, I just got an update from Augusta National — as you know, the Masters is this week. The subject of the email is “Mowing.” The entirety of the email is as follows:

Golf cracks me up.

12 Grand Slams in Women's Tennis

1. Margaret Court, 24

2. Serena Williams, 23

3. Steffi Graf, 22

4. Helen Wills, 19

5. Chris Evert AND Martina Navratilova, 18

7. Billie Jean King, 12

It seemed weird even at the time, but looking back, the 2015 U.S. Open semifinal between Serena Williams and Roberta Vinci might be the strangest sporting event I’ve ever attended.

You might remember the scenario. This was Serena at the height of her powers. She had won four grand slams in a row — the second time in her career she had completed the Serena Slam — and she seemed a cinch to win the first calendar grand slam since Graf back in 1988.

It was all lined up for her in 2015. The other top-seeded players — Halep, Sharapova, Wozniacki, Kerber, Stosur — were gone. All Serena had to do was beat 32-year-old Vinci, who had never been to a Grand Slam semifinal before, and then beat 33-year-old Flavia Pennetta, who had never been to a Grand Slam final before. Neither one had ever come close to beating her.

Serena utterly overwhelmed Vinci in the first set. The 6-2 score doesn’t even begin to express the domination. The only worry in the crowd was the worry Inigo Montoya had before dueling with the Man in Black — that it would be over too quickly.

And then … even now, a decade later, I don’t fully understand what happened next. I suppose you could say that Serena collapsed, the moment got too big for her, but that’s not exactly it. Yes, she started missing shots. And, yes, Vinci started playing some of the best tennis of her life. But even so, there never seemed any real danger that Serena would LOSE. She was standing five feet inside the baseline because Vinci didn’t have enough power to move her back. Every time Vinci uncorked one of her powder-puff second serves, Serena would detonate it.

There was no way Vinci could actually break Serena’s server.

Only then, Serena sprayed a wide backhand and Vinci did break to take a 3-2 lead.

There was no way that Vinci, with that second serve, could ever hold three games in a row against a determined Serena. But hold she did, each game a wild ride with just the right amount of Vinci brilliance and Serena mistakes. In the set-clinching game, Serena missed a backhand with the entire court open. At break point, Vinci cracked a forehand winner.

The third set was even more bizarre. Serena broke in the second game (“Drake is out of his chair!” the announcer said), and there seemed no conceivable way for her to lose it. But Serena double-faulted the next game away. With the match tied 3-3 and Serena serving, Vinci played the point of her life, running down five balls from end to end and then putting away the volley. Vinci implored the crowd to cheer her, and the crowd did, and Serena slumped in exhaustion and frustration.

THAT was the first time it occurred to any of us that Vinci might actually win this thing.

Serena promptly planted a backhand in the middle of the net and then hit a forehand long, and Vinci, incredibly, impossibly went on to pull off one of the biggest upsets in professional sports history.

When I see Serena one grand slam behind Margaret Court, that’s the match I think about.

10 Grand Slams in Men’s Tennis

1. Novak Djokovic, 24

2. Rafael Nadal, 22

3. Roger Federer, 20

4. Pete Sampras, 14

5. Roy Emerson, 11

6. Rod Laver AND Bjorn Borg 11

8. Bill Tilden, 10

Borg’s 11 slams are fascinating because he never won the Australian Open (he only competed there once when he was 17) or the U.S. Open (he lost in the finals four times — twice to Jimmy Connors and twice to John McEnroe). He won six of the eight French Opens he played in and five of the nine Wimbledons … that’s a pretty good run.

Novak Djokovic absolutely COULD win another grand slam. He also might not. With Novak, like with Serena and Tiger and the other all-timers, there is the assumption that the winning will just keep happening, at least for a while. He’s not going to collapse overnight, right? And, yes, Novak is still one of the best in the world. But Novak also has not won a tournament other than the Olympics in a year and a half. He just lost to 19-year-old Czech superstar Jakub Mensik in Miami. The kids are here. Jannik Sinner will be back from suspension soon. Carlos Alcaraz is 21. Jack Draper is 23. Holger Rune is 21. Ben Shelton is 22. Arthur Fils is 20. Joao Fonseca is 18. Calendar pages keep flipping.

I’ve heard people say that Novak will win 30 before he is done. Uh, no. He might have one more glorious run; Wimbledon this year seems the most likely bet. But even Novak Djokovic is not immune to the passing of the years.

Is Vladdy Worth it?

The first question that comes to mind when something like the Vladimir Guerrero Jr. 14-year, $500 million deal gets announced goes like so: “Is he worth it?”

We can talk about that if you want. But I honestly think it’s the wrong question.

I think a lot about the Washington Nationals. I’ve written about this numerous times — I often imagine a Washington Nationals fan born in, say, the year 2000. When she is 8 years old, the Nationals are the worst team in baseball, and that leads magically to them having the first pick in the draft, when the greatest pitching prospect to ever leave college, Stephen Strasburg, actually leaves college.

The Nationals draft him with the first pick. Much hype follows.

“What is a phenom?” our imaginary fan asks her father.

“Stephen Strasburg is a phenom,” the father says.

Of course, the hype doesn’t immediately make the Nationals any better. When our imaginary fan — let’s call her Mabel since we as a family are in the middle of binge-watching “Only Murders in the Building,” — is nine years old, the Nationals are again the worst team in baseball. She has only known misery as a young fan … but this 100-loss season leads magically to them AGAIN having the first pick when the most-hyped hitting prospect since Mickey Mantle, a kid named Bryce Harper who was on the cover of Sports Illustrated at 16, turns pro.

The Nationals draft him with the first pick. Much hype follows.

“When will Strasburg and Harper play for the Nationals?” Mabel asks her mother.

“Soon,” she assures her. “Very soon.”

They do arrive soon, Strasburg pitches brilliantly and almost immediately gets hurt. Harper hits baseball like a tornado. When Mabel is 12, the Nationals suddenly don’t have the worst record in baseball; they have the best. And they are so young. Exciting. The future is gotta-wear-shades bright. When she is 14, Stephen (she has come to know them by first names) leads the league in strikeouts. When she is 16, Bryce has a season for the ages.

When she is 18, Harper becomes a free agent. Mabel no longer needs to ask her parents what that means. She knows that he might go. But she won’t let herself believe it. She senses that he wants to stay. She can’t believe the Nationals would let him leave. She can’t imagine her team without him.

Bryce Harper goes to the Phillies because the Nationals won’t pay him.

Well, that stinks, but just as Bryce leaves, a new hero arrives: Juan Soto. He does a funny dance when a pitch is called a ball — he never seems to swing at a ball. Juan is basically Mabel’s age, and he leads the Nationals to the World Series title everybody desperately craves, and it’s wonderful. The Nationals also have the coolest cat to ever slide into a base, Trea Turner. They also have a pitcher with different colored-eyes who throws lightning bolts with fury, Max Scherzer. Life is grand. She’s been a Nationals fan her whole life. She will be a Nationals fan forever.

Only then … they’re all gone. Stephen goes down. Juan and Trea and Max get traded. The Nationals again become one of the worst teams in baseball.

Would it have made financial sense for the Nationals to spend the money necessary to keep Harper and Soto and Turner and even old Max? That’s the question people ask. It’s a fair question; the Nationals let Anthony Rendon go and obviously don’t regret that.

But, again, I’m not sure that financial optimization is the only point of baseball.

What’s the financial cost of constantly breaking your fans’ hearts?

The Blue Jays (and Giants) have finished bridesmaids in pretty much every free-agent race in recent memory. They tried for Shohei and tried for Soto and tried for Turner and tried for Burnes and tried and tried and tried … but they couldn’t land any of them.

So is Vladimir Guerrero Jr. worth it? Hell yes, he’s worth it. He’s a homegrown 26-year-old superstar with a 100,000-watt smile and a joyful game. He is utterly and completely beloved. The Blue Jays just told every one of their fans, aged five to 100, that they care about them, that their hero will be a Blue Jay for life. That’s meaningful.

Now, will he be worth it on the field? Different question. This contract will not begin until Vladdy is 27, it won’t end until he’s 40, and he’s not necessarily the type of player you expect to age well. I can see the dark clouds from age 33-40 just like everyone else can.

But for me, it comes down to this: The Blue Jays dished out the big bucks to keep the iconic player in Toronto. I would guess I’m as analytical as the next baseball fan, but I also believe baseball is more than a business, and decisions should be made with more than spreadsheets, detailed projections, and a luxury tax specialist. There should be some heart, too.

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