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Mike Schur Joins the Walk of Fame
And we look at the probability of hitting a middle slider
Hi everyone —
So, I’m flying back from Los Angeles now … I was in LA on Wednesday for a crazy event, which you MIGHT be able to decipher from the blurry and not-well-framed photo above.
Our pal Mike Schur was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
That’s right. Mike joins such luminaries as Richard Barthelmess, Hoot Gibson, Yakima Canutt, Pierre Monteaux and Florian Zabach, along with so many other unforgettable Hollywood luminaries. Officially, Mike received the 2,812th Hollywood Star, meaning that more people have Hollywood stars than have served in the U.S. Senate.
As it should be.
I don’t think I can fully describe Mike’s discomfort with the whole thing.
But maybe this photo will give you a sense.
That guy to Mike’s left is the head of the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce (obviously — I mean if you met that guy on a plane, you’d think “I’ll bet this guy is the head of the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce), and he’s holding a proclamation declaring Wednesday “Michael Schur Day” in Hollywood, which came with its own Funko Pop.
If I’m being serious for just a moment, there were two beautiful things about Wednesday.
It was special to see our pal honored for being an utterly amazing artist and person. To see Ted Danson break down a bit when talking about how much he loves Mike, to see so many people speak from the heart about how Mike changed her life, to see Mike’s family looking up at him proudly, I mean, sure, we joke a lot, but this touched the heart. Lucille Ball has a star. Frank Sinatra has a star. Neil Armstrong has a star. Joe Mantegna has a star. Meryl Streep has a star. As Amy Poehler (who also has a star!) said: “Even though this is not a big deal, it really is a big deal.”
It was special to see Mike lumber around so uncomfortably as the praise came at him from all sides. He’d rather have been pretty much anywhere else, even at a Yankees game. It was very funny.
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I know Yankees fans will think I’m picking on them — which, let’s be honest, “Picking on the Yankees” could be the name of this newsletter — but in this case, I promise, it will actually go the other way.
Eventually.
But we start by pointing out that THIS was the location of the Luke Jackson pitch that the Yankees’ Jasson Domínguez bashed for the walk-off homer against the Rangers Wednesday.
If that pitch was any more in the middle, the New York Times would have found it in an Iowa diner and interviewed it about political turmoil in America.
And it made me wonder: Just what do hitters do against Malcolm sliders like that?
The answer sort of surprised me.
I mean, take a guess: What do you think batters are hitting this year against middle-middle sliders?
I honestly would have guessed they’re hitting like .400 and slugging close to 1.000.
They’re not even close to that. They’re hitting .288 and slugging .579.
I mean, sure, that’s still some good hitting — league average is .244 and batters are slugging below .400 overall — but, I mean, it feels incredible that today’s batters are not even hitting .300 on MIDDLE-MIDDLE SLIDERS?
You remember the Ted Williams chart, right? I mean, it’s right there, if a pitcher makes a mistake and leaves the ball over the plate, Teddy Ballgame estimated that you should hit .400, something he knew a little something about. And it makes sense — pitchers will do anything to stay out of that zone, they spend their lives developing the sort of control it takes to avoid throwing pitching into the hitters’ zone. I mean, how much time is spent by announcers and analysts just yapping |  |
away about how crucial, how vital, how decisive it is for pitchers to not throw the ball over the middle of the plate. We all make it sound like a mistake pitch is lethal pretty much every time.
It isn’t. Yes, to be fair, the Malcolm sliders number will sure go up this year as the weather warms. The last four seasons, batters HAVE hit .316 and slugged better than .600 against Malcolm sliders, and I imagine that by year’s end the stats will be closer to that.
But, honestly, those numbers just reiterate how hard it is to hit a baseball. Even when a pitcher throws a hanging-slider right over the equator, it still takes preposterous, unfathomable skill to do what Jasson Domínguez did Wednesday night.
BONUS: For this little piece, I only looked at sliders because nothing looks easier to hit than a middle-middle slider. But you are probably wondering what batters do against other pitches over the heart.
Since 2021:
Malcolm Fastballs: .334 average, .596 slugging
Malcolm curveballs: .316 average, .592 slugging
Malcolm change-ups: .339 average, .676 slugging
You don’t want to leave your change-up over the plate. But I guess you probably already knew that.
Then again: I’ll repeat what the late Al Fitzmorris used to say — he’d remind you to watch batting practice and notice how often batters cracked routine groundballs or skied harmless pop-ups. “And that’s when the batter KNOWS what’s coming,” Al said. “We make pitching so much harder than it really is.”
Even on mistake change-ups, batters get themselves out 66 percent of the time.
Hitting a baseball is so doggone hard.
Kathleen’s Corner
Jason Benetti with an all-time great call on this play from the Cardinals and Tigers game.
Adolis Garcia came up with this incredible diving catch for the Rangers.
Dale Jr. unveiled his new wrap for the No. 8 car, which features Budweiser and MLB.
Logan O’Hoppe crushed the longest home run of the season at 470 feet.
I looked away and the Dallas Stars were trailing 3-1. Then, I got a score alert that they won 6-3?! A five-goal third period is preposterous, even if the final one was an open-netter.
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