There’s a funny scene near the beginning of the movie “Notting Hill.” Hugh Grant’s character, who owns a travel book shop in London*, brings Julia Roberts — she has a different name in the movie but she’s basically Julia Roberts — to his little sister’s birthday dinner, which is being held at a friend’s house.
I was once at a rehearsal dinner where I didn't recognize the bride, who is my wife's cousin and who I had met at least 3 times before. She still gives me crap about it.
On two occasions I didn’t recognize my wife. On one occasion, she didn’t recognize me, she actually had a choice to sit next to me on a bus or someone else and she thought, no way am I sitting next to that guy and chose to sit next to the other person, so, totally get it.
Just for the record what you’re experiencing is a thing called prosopagnosia or face blindness. I struggled for years thinking I was inconsiderate and spacey. Then I learned about Chuck Close and Oliver Sacks and their struggles with it and realized I was good company!
Dude, on the one hand, you’re a brilliant writer who introduced me to Buck O’Neil (and indirectly to Bob Kendrick and the NLBM) through your work. On the other hand, you’re just a regular schlub like the rest of us. It’s pieces like this that make me love your writing.
A while back I met Joe at a the Tucson Festival of Books and had a very pleasant (brief) conversation with him. I had once imagined that perhaps I would run into him again, and we could then revisit our witty conversation.
Here Joe is telling me, in a very entertaining way that no, this will not happen and he has already forgotten about our meeting.
I never have any interactions with celebrities (for which I'm extremely grateful), but I have this same problem with people I know from my role as a coach in little league. I've been coaching for 10 years now and have probably had something like 150 to 200 kids on my teams throughout the years. Those kids have parents or guardians and possibly aunts or grandparents or siblings who attend all their games.
Without fail, these people remember my name. I remember almost none of them, mainly because each season I get 12 new kids and it takes all of my brain power to remember each of THEIR names during the season I coach them. I can't possibly remember the names of the people associated with them, and I replace their names immediately with the names of the kids on the next team I coach. It never ceases to be a source of embarrassment for me when I'm approached by an adult or, God forbid, a 12-year-old kid, who says "Hi coach!" and looks for some sign of recognition only for me to give them nothing. I hate that feeling so much.
And yet I can remember World Series winners back to the 60's and the name of the song and artist of every popular rock song between 1960 and 2000. I'm not yet 40 years old. I have a long future of embarrassment and guilt in front of me. I guess it helps to know I'm not the only one.
As someone who has been both a prosecutor and a defense attorney, I can attest that most people (read: jurors) believe that an eyewitness identification is an extremely compelling piece of evidence, when, in fact, eyewitness identifications are extremely unreliable. There have been numerous studies that confirm this, but in general people like to believe that they themselves and most other people are excellent at remembering faces. It is very difficult to overcome this misconception.
I don't have face blindness, but I have something of a blank for names, names that I should know. I remember my close friends, but sometimes other names just slip my mind. I know their face, that I know them, an most of the time where I know them from, or something experience we had together. (Though not always that. I was halfway through having lunch with someone I knew that I knew once before it clicked) But even if I know these things, I just draw a blank on their name, sometimes only for 5 or 10 seconds, sometimes for 30 seconds or a minute or two. When someone I don't see that often or haven't seen for a time uses my name in greeting, I respond with "Hey" and then ask them how they are doing or how they have been, and wait for it to click. It is a lot better than reaching for the name, trying to use it, and stumbling on it obviously and embarrassingly.
As far as "famous" people go, sometimes I recognize them, and sometimes I just know I know them from somewhere. (Like at home, when my Wife and I see someone we know has been in something else, but can't remember who they are or what else we liked them in. Then an hour or two later one of us will just pop out with that info in the middle of a sentence or something.) Either way I just treat them like anyone else if we interact. (A habit I picked up many years ago) I might tell them I enjoyed their work when the conversation is done, but I imagine they get sick of having people gush over them or not being able to have a normal conversation.
Of course sometimes it doesn't click who they are until later. They just seem familiar. My Wife and I had dinner at a restaurant several years ago, and got to talking with another couple at a nearby table. I could tell that they looked familiar to me, but just had a normal conversation with them. They wer finished before us, we said our goodbyes, and about 5 minutes after they left, I realized it was Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell. (It really didn't help me that in real life, he has quite a thick accent. Those British - in this case, Welsh - people and their plastic voices!) The funny thing is that I had just streamed season 1 of the Americans. My Wife had not seen the show, but I really should have known.
Joe, what you're talking about sounds like an actual thing called face blindness or prosopagnosia. A friend's girlfriend had it and if he took off his glasses, she would walk right past him. She insisted that lineups in movies were a fiction because no one could recognize someone that way. It's not a thing to be embarrassed about. Stephen Fry has written about it. Unfortunately, there's no real way to fix it.
The more I read your writing about personal stuff like this the more I find myself nodding and saying "Yep, that's me". From the life facts like I spent a few years as a young sports fan in Cleveland at the exact time you did (we're the same age) to personality quirks like this one. I'm fairly certain we've never met but who can be sure of such things.
I was once at a rehearsal dinner where I didn't recognize the bride, who is my wife's cousin and who I had met at least 3 times before. She still gives me crap about it.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-10987137/Brad-Pitt-details-struggle-rare-face-blindness-condition-prosopagnosia.html
On two occasions I didn’t recognize my wife. On one occasion, she didn’t recognize me, she actually had a choice to sit next to me on a bus or someone else and she thought, no way am I sitting next to that guy and chose to sit next to the other person, so, totally get it.
Just for the record what you’re experiencing is a thing called prosopagnosia or face blindness. I struggled for years thinking I was inconsiderate and spacey. Then I learned about Chuck Close and Oliver Sacks and their struggles with it and realized I was good company!
Dude, on the one hand, you’re a brilliant writer who introduced me to Buck O’Neil (and indirectly to Bob Kendrick and the NLBM) through your work. On the other hand, you’re just a regular schlub like the rest of us. It’s pieces like this that make me love your writing.
A while back I met Joe at a the Tucson Festival of Books and had a very pleasant (brief) conversation with him. I had once imagined that perhaps I would run into him again, and we could then revisit our witty conversation.
Here Joe is telling me, in a very entertaining way that no, this will not happen and he has already forgotten about our meeting.
That is ok Joe. I understand.
Joe you buried the lede: you saw Springsteen On Broadway and no JP review?!? It’s never too late.
By far the flat out most hilarious column you've ever written (and most of your columns have some really funny lines). Well done!
Well Mr. Magoo, maybe Justine will read this and be as amused as Margo.
I never have any interactions with celebrities (for which I'm extremely grateful), but I have this same problem with people I know from my role as a coach in little league. I've been coaching for 10 years now and have probably had something like 150 to 200 kids on my teams throughout the years. Those kids have parents or guardians and possibly aunts or grandparents or siblings who attend all their games.
Without fail, these people remember my name. I remember almost none of them, mainly because each season I get 12 new kids and it takes all of my brain power to remember each of THEIR names during the season I coach them. I can't possibly remember the names of the people associated with them, and I replace their names immediately with the names of the kids on the next team I coach. It never ceases to be a source of embarrassment for me when I'm approached by an adult or, God forbid, a 12-year-old kid, who says "Hi coach!" and looks for some sign of recognition only for me to give them nothing. I hate that feeling so much.
And yet I can remember World Series winners back to the 60's and the name of the song and artist of every popular rock song between 1960 and 2000. I'm not yet 40 years old. I have a long future of embarrassment and guilt in front of me. I guess it helps to know I'm not the only one.
Look, you’re one of the best (sports)writers ever, but these personal pieces are why I pay money and the subscription feels free.
As someone who has been both a prosecutor and a defense attorney, I can attest that most people (read: jurors) believe that an eyewitness identification is an extremely compelling piece of evidence, when, in fact, eyewitness identifications are extremely unreliable. There have been numerous studies that confirm this, but in general people like to believe that they themselves and most other people are excellent at remembering faces. It is very difficult to overcome this misconception.
I don't have face blindness, but I have something of a blank for names, names that I should know. I remember my close friends, but sometimes other names just slip my mind. I know their face, that I know them, an most of the time where I know them from, or something experience we had together. (Though not always that. I was halfway through having lunch with someone I knew that I knew once before it clicked) But even if I know these things, I just draw a blank on their name, sometimes only for 5 or 10 seconds, sometimes for 30 seconds or a minute or two. When someone I don't see that often or haven't seen for a time uses my name in greeting, I respond with "Hey" and then ask them how they are doing or how they have been, and wait for it to click. It is a lot better than reaching for the name, trying to use it, and stumbling on it obviously and embarrassingly.
As far as "famous" people go, sometimes I recognize them, and sometimes I just know I know them from somewhere. (Like at home, when my Wife and I see someone we know has been in something else, but can't remember who they are or what else we liked them in. Then an hour or two later one of us will just pop out with that info in the middle of a sentence or something.) Either way I just treat them like anyone else if we interact. (A habit I picked up many years ago) I might tell them I enjoyed their work when the conversation is done, but I imagine they get sick of having people gush over them or not being able to have a normal conversation.
Of course sometimes it doesn't click who they are until later. They just seem familiar. My Wife and I had dinner at a restaurant several years ago, and got to talking with another couple at a nearby table. I could tell that they looked familiar to me, but just had a normal conversation with them. They wer finished before us, we said our goodbyes, and about 5 minutes after they left, I realized it was Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell. (It really didn't help me that in real life, he has quite a thick accent. Those British - in this case, Welsh - people and their plastic voices!) The funny thing is that I had just streamed season 1 of the Americans. My Wife had not seen the show, but I really should have known.
Joe, what you're talking about sounds like an actual thing called face blindness or prosopagnosia. A friend's girlfriend had it and if he took off his glasses, she would walk right past him. She insisted that lineups in movies were a fiction because no one could recognize someone that way. It's not a thing to be embarrassed about. Stephen Fry has written about it. Unfortunately, there's no real way to fix it.
The more I read your writing about personal stuff like this the more I find myself nodding and saying "Yep, that's me". From the life facts like I spent a few years as a young sports fan in Cleveland at the exact time you did (we're the same age) to personality quirks like this one. I'm fairly certain we've never met but who can be sure of such things.
There’s been a lot of recent articles about how Brad Pitt has face blindness, which sounds like what Joe is talking about here.