Cam Booser and Existential Dread

Hi everyone — 

Clayton Kershaw pitched six hitless innings against the Reds’ Arizona Complex League team on Tuesday, and folks are excited that he’s closing in on his return. I’m excited too, sort of, though I have long ago stopped believing that ANY pitcher can stay healthy for very long these days, much less a 37-year-old legend with enough miles on his arm to be selected as a ConciergeKey customer on American Airlines*.

Here’s what Kershaw’s performance made me wonder: How long after a pitcher retires could he still overwhelm lower-level professional baseball? What I mean is, the year after Pedro called it quits, could he have gone to the Arizona Complex League and been like crazy dominant? How about five years after he retired? Ten? How about now?

I’ve long thought that Phil Niekro could have gotten out the promising kids when he was 70. Heck, Satchel Paige did!

I don’t want to make this just a roundup of Tuesday night, but let’s make special mention of the Royals-White Sox game because, I mean, you rarely see such a perfect distillation of the moment we live in. The Royals somehow trailed the White Sox 3-2 going into the bottom of the ninth inning. The White Sox, in case you haven’t been following closely, are playing just as badly as they did in 2024, when they were the worst team any of us have ever seen.

But they did just take two of three from the Astros, and the led by a run, and Cam Booser entered. Cam Booser! What a name! What a beard! I don’t know if Cam Booser is now the White Sox closer — the team has one save all year — but he started off the inning by walking Mark Canha on five pitches, which, you know, that’s not the best way to become a closer, Cam.

But he then forced Drew Waters to hit an infield pop-up, which is EXACTLY what you want to do as a closer. Way to go Cam!

Except …

In case you don’t want to click on that video — or in case you’d like a written recap of this wonderful chaos — White Sox second baseman Chase Meidroth settled under the ball. Well, settle is the wrong word. He clearly lost the ball in the lights, or he lost it in the sky, or he lost it in the existential dread of playing for the White Sox. Whatever, he lost it, and the ball came down, and he picked up the ball too late, and it bonked off the top of his head.

Here’s what makes the play so perfectly Sox — they still should have gotten Canha at second base. He was taking a step back toward first base when the ball clunked poor Chase. He started running, but right fielder Michael A. Taylor — a former Gold Glove winner — got to the ball quickly and merely had to throw the ball about 80 feet to get Canha at second base.

He promptly threw the ball WAY over the head of the covering shortstop.

As the official chronicler of the 2000s-era Royals, who did stuff like this all the time, I give my heartiest seal of approval.

The fun wasn’t over! The next batter Kyle Isbel attempted to sacrifice bunt — and by “attempted” I mean he laid down a great bunt and even though the White Sox knew with 100% certainty that he was going to bunt, nobody was there to make the play. So his sac bunt turned into a single that loaded the bases.

All that was left to do was for Kansas City Jonathan India to hit a ground ball to shortstop Jacob Amaya, who couldn’t make the flip to second, and then for Bobby Witt Jr. to hit a long fly ball to center to score the game-winning run. Even this last seemingly routine play was wonderful. Witt hit the long fly ball as demanded, White Sox centerfielder Luis Robert Jr. — a former Gold Glove winner — drifted back on the ball, got there and then, it’s hard to describe, he just let it drop. He sort of reached out his glove to catch it, but also sort of didn’t, and then he kept on running until he jogged face-first into the wall. That’s a Casablanca-level ending.

Honestly, I might need to start watching the White Sox nightly.

Quick reminder that it’s Graduation Week here at JoeBlogs; Elizabeth graduates Friday. It’s about to get pretty crazy and pretty tearful around here. In case you missed it, I reposted the Elizabeth story that probably means the most to me personally, “Someday You Will Be Loved.” We’ll have a reduced Batting Order tomorrow, I imagine, but I will bring back the most -ead story I’ve ever written along with a few sports thoughts.